Being Happy - What We Crave
and so many can't find.
Not sure where I got the idea, but it deserves some thought: Happiness is doing what you want, for as long as you want, with the people you love.
At their wedding, my son-in-law said that every day is special when they do it together. My wife and I enjoy doing things together. Last night our neighbors texted that they were having beer in the back yard and invited us to join them. We were there with our own selection, before they had opened theirs. We had a happy couple of hours together.
What if you have nobody to do things with? Find people! Where? Volunteer.
I knew a retiree who volunteered at the hospital. He loved it.
If you are interested in politics, find the party that most closely aligns with your thinking and ask how you can help. I was secretary of the Whatcom County Republican Party for a couple of years back in the 1980s. I was a poll watcher along with a Democrat counterpart. It was another great way to meet people.
Consider going to church or volunteering to help through a church. Twice a month, I help deliver food to those who need it. I deliver to a church. I don’t attend the church. I’ve made friends there.
There are service clubs that are looking for members. Lions, Kiwanis, and Rotary are looking for members. See if there is a local chapter and attend a meeting.
Those are just a few examples. All of them require you to leave your home and help someone. Helping others helps take your mind off of your problems. It often helps you see the answers to yours.
What do you enjoy doing?
I am happy while sitting alone in my office thinking, researching and writing. I enjoy my time alone. For me, it is important to have my inner sanctum - a retreat where I can meditate, take a nap, read or listen to books on audible, write, teach. I am comfortable with myself.
I began exercising about three weeks ago. I am enjoying the feeling of becoming stronger. For me, key is focusing on the results. I don’t enjoy the 40 minutes of exercise. That 40-minute workout allows me to enjoy being stronger all day. Here is a key point: Sometimes we do what we don’t enjoy to get the results we want.
A couple of years ago, I bought a set of golf clubs. I enjoy going to the driving range. I’m not a good player. I don’t go often. I do enjoy it and have met people at the range.
Hopefully, you have a job you enjoy. I’ll be covering that in a business post next. Work is another place to make friends who have a common interest.
How long do you want to do what you enjoy?
There are only 24 hours in a day. You must decide how you will use them. My first manager at IBM said, “The company will take 24/7 if you let it. You must draw your line.”
I enjoyed my time as a chiropractor. I often put in long days. I also had a wife and four children. I had to balance my family and work.
Later, I became a real estate broker. I don’t hustle. I just do it part-time to help my general contractor son. I enjoy talking with people and putting deals together.
If you don’t enjoy your work, you have a couple of options. First, you can look at work like I look at exercise - I do it to get the reward. You work to get paid. Focus on the money. Second, you can think about what you really enjoy and look for (or create) a job doing what you like.
I never considered retirement. The fact is life is uncertain. For a few years, my focus was on my mother. Then Covid changed our lives. One of my wife’s brothers has cancer and another has dementia. We never know how long we have. We looked at our finances and decided we could retire. We are enjoying having more time together. I still maintain my licenses to practice both chiropractic and real estate.
Returning to the idea - Happiness is doing what you want, for as long as you want, with the people you love. Those ideas may help, but I find the real key is getting control of my mind. For me, happiness starts with peace.