Conflicts Clarify - The Benefits of Argument
Growth comes from change.
I have never read the book by B. J. Palmer, Conflicts Clarify, but I love the title. I find it to be so true. By listening to others and presenting my ideas I grow and change.
I enjoyed attending a monthly discussion group for several years. There was only one requirement for belonging to the group. You had to come every month. The process was always the same. A speaker would talk for an hour. We would have an intermission. Then a question-and-answer discussion for another hour.
A broad range of speakers included a U. S. senator, a state supreme court justice, and a college student who talked about her former life as a drug addict and prostitute. The host limited the discussions to what interested him. He was interested in everything.
When I was an intern in Dr. Crowder’s office, he told me about a wonderful experience he had visiting a family in another country. Rather than watching television at night, they would sit around and have a discussion. Since he was there, someone said, well Dr. Crowder is here, let’s talk about chiropractic. He had a great time.
Some see my posts as being argumentative. Webster gives the following as the first two definitions of argument:
1a: the act or process of arguing, reasoning, or discussing: argumentation
b: a coherent series of reasons, statements, or facts intended to support or establish a point of view
c: an angry quarrel or disagreement
2a: a reason given for or against a matter under discussion
b: a form of rhetorical expression intended to convince or persuade
Notice that only 1c is an angry quarrel or disagreement. That is what many people think of as an argument. The rest are ways of expressing a point of view. They are ways that reasonable people use to reach decisions.
I have changed my mind many times. Some point to people who have changed their minds as a sign of weakness. If a person is presented with new evidence and fails to change thon’s position in light of evidence, that is a sign of stupidity.
I encourage you to say, I won’t be wrong for long. Just switch sides. Look to correct your outdated thinking and upgrade with new information. I know it is much easier to say than to do.
The brain wants to be right. It wants to be consistent. Imagine asking a subject to accept an idea. Then take that idea a little bit further and show thon the next step is the logical consequence of the last step. The subject is reminded that thon already admitted to agreeing with the previous steps. Many people will accept something ridiculous just to keep the brain being consistent.
Now you know one way the brain works. Be aware and open to changing your mind based on new information. Don’t be afraid to argue. Just don’t let it devolve into a fight.