How to Keep the Peace and Change the World
A secret to getting along with people.
I find it interesting that many people believe that those around them think the same way they do. They will say things that have a definite bias and assume that those around them will think it is funny or appropriate.
Sometimes I challenge those beliefs, but I find most people are not interested in an intellectual argument. They are quite content to believe whatever they have chosen to believe and see what they choose to see.
I don’t have much to offer. Occasionally I will slip and say that something doesn’t make any sense and then have to explain why. Then, they are just offended that they didn’t see the obvious.
I know that I write and speak for a very peculiar group of people. They are more interested in personal growth and finding truth, than in proving they are right.
My readers are more likely to see wisdom in the statement, “Maybe I’m wrong.” They are more likely to use evidence to question their beliefs and are comfortable asking questions rather than providing answers.
Especially at my age, many people have given up. Conversation tends toward memory. They are no longer learning and growing. Do you remember who married …? Did you see some concert or movie? Do you remember doing something when we were in college? Those memories are generally not my strength. I just sit and listen.
I take it as a sign of age. If you want to continue to be active mentally and physically, you must give yourself mental and physical challenges. You grow through use. Your brain is future oriented. If you choose to exercise, you change your brain to create more muscle. You are preparing to be even more active. If you choose to read something that stimulates your thinking, your brain will change to better prepare for more thinking.
If you don’t do anything, you will degenerate. “Use it or lose it” is true for your brain. Your brain will allow your muscles to deteriorate. If you don’t use your muscles today, you probably won’t tomorrow either. So, you lose muscle. Between the ages of 70 and 80, the average man will lose 50% of his muscle mass.
Similarly, your brain will allow the thinking process to deteriorate. Many elderly people remember, but they don’t reason.
Most of the time, people are busy telling me what they think or what they remember. My secret to keeping the peace? I just nod and smile. If it strikes me as insane, I try to remember to ask myself, what if I’m wrong? I might ask a question. I try not to give an opinion unless directly asked.
Reminds me of couple of interesting anecdotes. Leaders of the state chiropractic association were having a luncheon meeting in my area. I was invited a few hours before the meeting. I almost didn’t go. Then I decided that maybe I’d have something to contribute.
I sat through the entire lunch. I listened to presentations. I listened to different doctors’ ideas. I didn’t feel compelled to contribute at all. I had decided that I had wasted my time, and the meeting was about to adjourn. Suddenly, one of the leaders looked straight at me and asked, “What do you think?” I was surprised that I found I had something to say.
On the other hand, I used to attend a monthly meeting of chiropractors. It was labeled as a meeting on chiropractic philosophy, a subject that I have spent a lot of effort in learning. I found it was often a lot of nonsense about making money and had nothing to do with chiropractic philosophy or improving our practices. The leader of that group was offended by my comments. I decided not to attend. It is his group not mine. I was out of line.
My secret for keeping the peace - keep your mouth shut in mixed company - unless you are asked. If you have something to say, offer it - through articles or your thoughts on social media. Rarely comment on posts on social media. If you disagree with someone, give your thoughts independently. Your friend can then see it without feeling attacked. Another way of keeping your mouth shut, while stating your truth.
There is the secret for keeping the peace while still changing the world.