The Happy Life
Watch your thoughts and realize your life is the result of your choices.
What makes us happy? Do we become happy when we reach a certain goal?
I’ll speak for myself. There seems to be a number of factors. The biggest seems to be knowing what I really want. Rather than what I think I should want or imagining what I might like if I reached a certain goal.
For example, I have set goals for myself and immediately realized that my goal conflicts with something else. Now which do I really want - the goal or whatever is conflicting?
A great example is writing this article. I had the idea to write this article yesterday. Instead, my wife and I went to Vancouver, B.C. It was a wet day, but we had fun. Today, I started the article, and my wife just got back from exercising. She is going to have lunch with her brother. Which do I want - finish the article or go have lunch?
I chose to finish the article. Do you watch your thoughts and consciously realize that you are making choices that are determining your life?
My chiropractic practice was way down after Covid. I started the process of building it back up. I never thought I would retire. My wife was going to take trips with her sister. I was jealous of her sister. I found that what I really wanted was to spend more time with my wife. That is the main reason I retired from my chiropractic practice. I didn’t have to work so I retired. I still miss seeing patients and I am maintaining my license.
Something else I know about myself, I would rather teach than just about anything. I started teaching while in chiropractic college. I taught laboratory methods to chiropractic assistants. After graduating, I taught in the College of Business and Economics at Western Washington University. Much of my time with patients was talking and exchanging ideas. I began teaching online. I haven’t made much money, but I am enjoying what I’m doing.
I have studied people who have become quite wealthy. They made choices that most of us would not make. That is one reason most of us are not wealthy. We choose not to be. Then some of us imagine what we would do differently if we were wealthy. For many of us, what we would do differently is lose our wealth and be miserable.
An article in CNBC makes the point. Don McNay authored the book, Life Lessons from the Lottery. He is a financial advisor to lottery winners. “McNay says many winners struggle with suicide, depression and divorce. ‘It’s the curse of the lottery because it made their lives worse instead of improving them,’ he says.
The truth seems to be that happiness is an inside job. I can choose to be happy. Or I can choose to be upset. I have learned to control my thinking. Happiness does not come because of something I have. I am basically happy and choose to do things that I enjoy.
Four weeks ago, I was admitted to the hospital. I was diagnosed with pneumonia on the right and pneumothorax (collapsed lung) on the left. I was not miserable. In fact, I was rather happy. It probably helped that I was not in severe pain. I caught myself trying to argue with my doctors about my care. I realized that I had to surrender. I was in the hospital for their expertise. I still made decisions, as every patient is entitled to, but I took doctor’s advice.
I had outstanding care. Nurses were so good to me. One said that she would check on me before the others because I was more fun to see. I told her I thought it was important to be nice to everyone. She said, “you have no idea.”
What can you do to be happy? Change your thinking. When you find you are upset, question why? Why are you upset? I find it is often because of some mental program that I accepted long ago. Something happens that challenges that program and I become upset. Once I question the program, I can find the truth. I am no longer upset. In fact, I often smile at my craziness.
I’ll close with an example. I was working at my computer early on a winter morning. It was still dark. My wife opened the blinds to see out. I became upset. I left to go to the office. Back then I was taking a bus to work. As I went to sit down, I realized that I was still upset. I asked myself why? Immediately I got the memory of my mother teaching me how to close the blinds when I was about five years old. She said, “We close the blinds when we turn the lights on so people can’t see in.” My wife wasn’t following my mother’s rules. I looked at the rule. I don’t care if people look in. I smiled. I began opening the blinds for my wife.
That is a stupid little example. I was upset for maybe an hour. How many times are we upset for longer over something equally trivial? Question yourself. Question your brain programming. If possible, change the program and choose to be happy.